Odeon

We're sure you're probably already all too familiar with this giant nationwide cinema chain. This branch offers the usual: overpriced pick 'n' mix, bad nachos, stale popcorn, uncomfortable seats and teenagers reeking of Lynx deodorant. This one is particularly offensive as it only has three claustrophobic screens hidden away under Lothian Road. Who knew that a visit to a cinema so close to the Pubic Triangle would be such a bland, homogenized experience? The only thing that redeems it is the glorious Häagen-Dazs cafe, which makes everything else instantly forgivable.

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